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Post by ashendant on Sept 12, 2011 20:37:41 GMT -6
I'm trying to further develop the race i created, i accept any suggestions and criticism(however don't suggest removing the bone army i need them to complete the rest of the article)
While i can't continue it right now(have to study driving exam on wednesday) once i have free time i'll continue to write the article
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 12, 2011 21:18:40 GMT -6
I've edited a few things in it to make it fit more overall with the setting. You can look at it and let me know if you'd like.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 13, 2011 11:17:04 GMT -6
Thanks you did a much better job than i did, but it seems i sent some wrong ideas when i wrote this
-The fact that they see benevolent gods as a crutch is a point for relations with the sky elves and a point of their hypocrisy when it comes to comparing their gods with other gods.
-when you used "almost always quickly dies when removed from the rest of it's race and it's chosen task." it's a accurate but slightly exaggerated, to explain myself better "almost always" sound like the survival rate of the exiled is less than 10%, when it's around 40-50%, while i want to them to feel communistic, i still want them to be capable of being individualistic so they aren't just one-dimensional characters(a middle ground slightly pointed to their dependence on the community).
-When you wrote "lifelong care of the child created, if any." it's sorta wrong, trough i'll claim it was because i expressed myself horribly, what i meant was a purely monentary support to the child and victim(the criminal is not allowed to see the victim or the child without the authorization of both some sort of psychiatric counsel and the victim's consent), with the punishment being some sort of sensory deprivation(which i probably should think trough before adding)
-While they weren't necromancers the fact that they lied about it was to make the plot point simpler, while raiser of the dead doesn't sound as good, it works if you don't want the word necromancy anywhere in this setting
Other stuff: -I gave the bone gods the official name of Ostes(derivated from Osteo, a name found in many bone related stuff, possibly from latin), with the Bone Gods being the more colloquial(that's the word right?) nickname, it both references them
-I gave the pond the name of Ostes womb, because it's the Ostes "birthplace"
-I have to decide the number of Bone gods, i want them to have, but any less than 10 makes the race look ineffective, anything above 100 seems exaggerated, even 50 seems like i'm pushing it, so i'm tending to lower completely arbitrary numbers(ex:12; 15; 27; 32 being the highest number that i could reasonably accept), like from the 10-20 number, what do you think the number should be?
I don't have much free time but i can still edit small changes and discuss them, you're free to ask any clarification on any points i made, tomorrow i'm free so will write the last few sections and create the associated articles
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 13, 2011 21:23:10 GMT -6
If they don't reproduce normally, why would they have the word "Womb" in their vocabulary? Unless it's just a translation name, and doesn't mean that actual word.
And no, the word Necromancy just doesn't exist in the setting because it's impossible to do. Why name something that doesn't exist? If you can come up with a different name, you're free to do so.
Bone Gods would be minor Risen gods. And one god by themselves can wipe out whole armies should they decide to fight. You really don't need more than a couple dozen, at maximum.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 14, 2011 5:58:14 GMT -6
If they don't reproduce normally, why would they have the word "Womb" in their vocabulary? Unless it's just a translation name, and doesn't mean that actual word. And no, the word Necromancy just doesn't exist in the setting because it's impossible to do. Why name something that doesn't exist? If you can come up with a different name, you're free to do so. Bone Gods would be minor Risen gods. And one god by themselves can wipe out whole armies should they decide to fight. You really don't need more than a couple dozen, at maximum. hmm good point, the womb word might still apply due to similarities with their own breeding method(i could tell it if you want but it has nothing remotely animal sexual in it) I don't know any other word,i could use raiser of the dead but that's practically necromancy, the use of the word necromancy was just to imply the illusion, not the real thing, the only other names i can think of is variation of necromancy(Negromancy, necyomancy), I think i'll stick with raiser of the dead. Well i made it that are various underground falkay nations so they wouldn't be focused too much in one place, and not all of them fighters, Like i said i don't want to much, and not too little i would've choose 12 or 13, but that make the number very similar to the olympian pantheon, so i'm going to make it 14 any problems with this number
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 14, 2011 6:40:11 GMT -6
No, that's fine.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 14, 2011 19:12:22 GMT -6
Do you have any problems with me setting the center of Falkay nations deep underground of the Darowem with smaller underground colonies in Fyraline and Eupha?
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 14, 2011 19:36:58 GMT -6
I was actually thinking they'd have their own continent.
They don't really fit with any of the other races like the others do.
Also, that Osseous Armada needs seeeeeeeeeeeeerious work. I told you noone knows how to do programming, and they're way too autonomous.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 14, 2011 20:06:15 GMT -6
I was actually thinking they'd have their own continent. They don't really fit with any of the other races like the others do. Also, that Osseous Armada needs seeeeeeeeeeeeerious work. I told you noone knows how to do programming, and they're way too autonomous. Their nations are normally found deeep deeeeeeep underground you could say they live in their own "continent" under Dawomer, trough you said there were probably continents to the south. I wanted to make the relations with other races in the next section(ex:they have a distrust of sky elves because they built a Utopia with a god, they see river elves as a exploitable target due to their reclusiveness, Sauranids as useful allies but constant military harassers of their nations, etc...), In short i don't want the race too removed they can't interact with the other races. Is magical programs that hard to make? I need a way to make armada independent of the main Falkay forces, i think i can find a few alternatives... -The bone triggers are attuned to a Falkay mage(safely hidden in coffins) specialized in controlling various bodies, that controls the osseous armada dependent on signals sent by the holder of the bone trigger and the type of construct
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 14, 2011 20:10:00 GMT -6
The only kind of 'program' anyone can make is a spell that does a few very specific things before burning out.
What you're basically asking for is a puppetted AI, which is just impossible with the magic of the setting. There's just no way to make it work the way it's currently written.
The only way it can work that I can think of off the top of my head is what I told you before: Each construct or group of constructs is being directly guided by a mage. It would make them almost useless in single combat, but exceptionally good at swarming targets and hacking things apart with overwhelming numbers.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 14, 2011 20:18:32 GMT -6
The only kind of 'program' anyone can make is a spell that does a few very specific things before burning out. What you're basically asking for is a puppetted AI, which is just impossible with the magic of the setting. There's just no way to make it work the way it's currently written. The only way it can work that I can think of off the top of my head is what I told you before: Each construct or group of constructs is being directly guided by a mage. It would make them almost useless in single combat, but exceptionally good at swarming targets and hacking things apart with overwhelming numbers. Ok that cuts kinda of the purpose of the race going to war directly with the god(with a help of their gods), but i can work with that Well not all of them are designed to be used for swarming, some act as shields for mages(like rhinos protecting babies), while others are flyers that work their way as mass kidnapping units(well they need some followers alive), a few examples of variations, but these are rare most types are different variations of combat swarming
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 14, 2011 20:47:26 GMT -6
If one mage is controlling each construct doing that to give them more nuanced and careful control, sure.
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Post by halfelfdragon on Sept 14, 2011 22:34:29 GMT -6
I really think you need to give up on the Bone Army already. Its not working. Stop dancing around that and looking for a loophole. Just accept it and move on.
I'm also confused why its called an armada when that's a term reserved for fleets
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Post by Slywyn on Sept 14, 2011 22:44:19 GMT -6
I really think you need to give up on the Bone Army already. Its not working. Stop dancing around that and looking for a loophole. Just accept it and move on. I'm also confused why its called an armada when that's a term reserved for fleets My only thing is that it CAN work, but not in the way he wants it to.
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Post by ashendant on Sept 15, 2011 13:15:18 GMT -6
My only thing is that it CAN work, but not in the way he wants it to. Ill change it soon to how you want it, then I still need to know where do i put them? on darowem or in another continent you mentioned you were creating(with what i read would make sense since it would be very hot in surface of a continent in the southrn hemisphere)
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